Support, Part 2

Well it took awhile, but I finally could sit and write again. This is something that is so important to any parent, to have good support of those around them.

How you can support us or other Foster Parents.

• When we take a new placement, offer a meal, to come hold the baby, or bring your children over to meet our little ones. Often foster children can open more to other children and helps them to feel comfortable. If we feel that our foster child(ren) are not ready for this yet, we'll let you know.
• Offer hand me downs, whether it be clothes, shoes, books, toys or gear, it's always helpful since we have to purchase all our items, most foster mommies never have a baby shower or anything of the sort where gifts and gear are given to them. Also most foster children come with maybe 2-3 outfits and 1 toy. After a few placements we tend to have so much gear but when we take a new age, we need different items.
• Schedule a play date with us. Your home, mine, Kid Venture, Sea World, Zoo or a park. You name it, we'd love to meet up and play.
• Call to check in and offer to bring coffee, tea, chocolate. Sometimes I just need to know that I'm thought of and might refuse the extras, but I always love when people come to visit. It helps to refresh me and the kids also love visitors.
• Offer to babysit for a couple hours, anytime of day. I often have trouble asking for babysitting help unless I absolutely need it in order to go to an appointment or really need a night out with hubby.
• Treat our foster child(ren) like family, no matter how difficult or challenging they may be. Please try to understand that my foster child, has been through some major trauma, and that they may be afraid of you, they may lash out or they may smile and bond to you quickly. Each child is different and one foster child to the next may have a completely different response to you and to me.
• When our foster child(ren) leave our home, offer an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on or even a night out to distract us.

I'm sure there are so many ways to support, these would be the big ones for us.


"There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own." ~Robert Brault

Support, Part 1

As a foster parent, you need lots of support. This is the post I've been struggling to write for awhile, maybe because I feel that I can't get enough of it. Support is one of the most important things we can give to others and receive. 

Lately I've been feeling very inadequate as a mother, wife, woman, person. I know that I'm a great mom and wife, but these thoughts have grabbed hold and refuse to let go. 

As this case has progressed we've been asked if we are interested in being J & B's forever family. It's so hard to say no and to explain to everyone why we made that decision. I love these boys, my boys, but Zach and I feel that we are not the forever family for them. It is very difficult to make the decision to let them go, it literally hurts my heart and I cry about it. However, I know they will be in a wonderful home soon and settled with wonderful parents for the rest of their lives. 

I know we are helping and doing something not everyone can do, but were not anymore special than the next person. We all have the things we can so and can't. Plus, it takes a village to raise a child, we're just part of the village. 

I really didn't cover all that I wanted to about support, and I do plan to in my next post, but I needed to talk about this today. 

Zoo Fun

 

On Friday, June 7th, we met up with my In-Laws and took J & B to the Zoo. We've been a bunch of times, but since J is now 2 1/2 years old, he's been more into walking instead of riding in the stroller. He's been doing so good.

 

Of course he's still only 2 and gets tired, but instead of wanting to get in the stroller, he wants to be carried. This kid is not a small 2 year old, he's BIG! He's about 38 inches and 38 pounds. He wears 4T clothing and a size 9 shoe. Because of his size, it's easy for others and even myself to forget he's only 2, and expect more from him. However, at night when he's ready for bed, he just wants to cuddle and will occasionally fall asleep on you.

 

Here's the latest map courtesy of The San Diego Zoo. We visited the new Outback area, Urban Jungle, Africa Rocks, Elephant Odyssey, Northern Frontier, Panda Canyon then looped up around to the Orangutans and headed to the Exit gates. So, about half of the park and took about 5 hours with a walking toddler.

 

 

Here's some pictures of a few of the animals we visited.

  

Giraffe in the Urban Jungle

 

Kubali the cheetah in the Urban Jungle

 

Camels in Elephant Odyssey

 

Turtles in Elephant Odyssey

 

 

The San Diego Zoo Logo and Map belong to The San Diego Zoo, please click here for copyright information.

Changing Lives

 

 

Growing up, I wanted children, I wanted to foster and I wanted to adopt. I never knew how I would have children, but I know that I was meant to be a Mom.

 

I have this great opportunity to change the life of the children that come into our home. I can teach them, I can love them, I can give them safety and stability. There are so many things that I can do to change their life. The thing I did not realize is how much they would change me. They changed me into a Mommy, and all that includes. I am a counselor, nurse, teacher, personal assistant, housekeeper, chef, chauffeur and many more.

 

This is what I choose to remind myself of after a long day of fighting with a toddler and taking care of a sick baby.

 

 

Motherhood

How true this is?!

Being a Mother is a full time 24/7 career. Some choose to become Mothers, some did not plan for it and others become Mothers by raising other people's children. 

I struggle daily within myself wondering if I've made the right decisions for each of my children, if I've done everything possible I could to make sure their lives are better than the day before and that they are learning how to be a part of a healthy family by attaching and bonding to each of us and other family members. 

Thankfully I had a great teacher in my own Mother. She gave me the strength and desire to become a Foster Mother even before I was an adult. 

The past two nights have been tough in our home, Baby B has been teething and not sleeping well at night, so I also haven't slept much. I was going to cancel going out today but choose to stick with my plan of going to Sea World with my cousin and the boys. I knew the boys would love getting out and seeing the animals plus I would benefit from the fresh air and sun. I'm glad we spent the day out. J even got to spend a little time with his favorite character, Elmo. 

I know I made the right choice in taking them out and spending that special time with them. 

Why Foster Funny

Why Foster Funny? Well I am a Foster Parent and my niece gave me the nick name Funny which actually began as Aunt So Funny (she could not say Stephanie) which eventually shortened to just Funny. Plus, trying to come up with something original for the sake of a URL these days is nearly impossible.

We always knew we wanted to Foster and or Adopt early on in our relationship, but kept putting it off as we continued to try to have kids the old fashioned way. After our second loss, we decided we just could not wait any longer to help children and contacted Angels Foster Family Network to begin our journey.

It took some time to get approved and complete training, but in November 2011 we welcomed our first foster child, a 9 month old boy, into our home. We've been an Uncle and Aunt for years but having complete responsibility for a child 24/7 was a whole new story for us.

We have now fostered 3 boys, E.T., and J & B. E.T. we had for 13 months, and 10 days after he went home, on New Years Eve, we brought home J & B.

We tell our foster children our names are Zach and Stephanie or Funny when they meet us and leave it up to them to decide what to call us. So far it's usually Daddy and Mommy, or in the case of our latest toddler he calls me both Mommy and Nana.

While I don't care what they call me, it melts my heart to hear someone call me Mommy. To hear someone call Zach Daddy, is just so special, because he makes such a great Daddy!